If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.
--Charles Barkley
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Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up.
--Bill Vaughn
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If the NBA were on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love was on channel 4, I'd watch the frogs even if they were coming in fuzzy.
--Bobby Knight
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My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character.
--Charles Barkley
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When I dunk, I put something on it. I want the ball to hit the floor before I do.
--Darryl Dawkins
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I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.
--Dave Barry
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This is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators.
--Dick Vertleib
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Fans never fall asleep at our games, because they're afraid they might get hit by a pass.
--George Raveling
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The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play "Drop the Handkerchief."
--James Naismith
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The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy.
--Jerry Tarkanian
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My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents [the adults had to pay].
--Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
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I hate it [zone defense]. It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven. Five guys standing there with their hands in the air.
--Norm Sloan
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We're shooting 100 percent - 60 percent from the field and 40 percent from the free-throw line.
--Norm Stewart
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Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.
--Ogden Nash
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The Ten Commandments were not a suggestion.
--Pat Riley
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If you meet the Buddha in the lane, feed him the ball.
--Phil Jackson
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Basketball is the MTV of sports.
--Sara Levinson
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The rule was "No autopsy, no foul."
--Stewart Granger, on the pickup games of his childhood
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To win, you've got to put the ball in the macramé.
--Terry McGuire
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I look at the NBA as a football game without the helmet.
--Tom Tolbert
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I liked the choreography, but I didn't care for the costumes.
--Tommy Tune, on why he never considered playing basketball
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We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors.
--Weldon Drew
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What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?
--Woody Allen, Annie Hall
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