Creative Basketball: Equipment, Cards & Quotations

The Lighter Side of Basketball

If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming. --Charles Barkley

Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up.  --Bill Vaughn

If the NBA were on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love was on channel 4, I'd watch the frogs even if they were coming in fuzzy.  --Bobby Knight

My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character. --Charles Barkley

When I dunk, I put something on it.  I want the ball to hit the floor before I do.  --Darryl Dawkins

I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years.  Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.  --Dave Barry

This is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators.  --Dick Vertleib

Fans never fall asleep at our games, because they're afraid they might get hit by a pass.  --George Raveling

The invention of basketball was not an accident.  It was developed to meet a need.  Those boys simply would not play "Drop the Handkerchief."  --James Naismith

The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy.  --Jerry Tarkanian

My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents [the adults had to pay]. --Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

I hate it [zone defense].  It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven.  Five guys standing there with their hands in the air.  --Norm Sloan

We're shooting 100 percent - 60 percent from the field and 40 percent from the free-throw line.  --Norm Stewart

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo. --Ogden Nash

The Ten Commandments were not a suggestion. --Pat Riley

If you meet the Buddha in the lane, feed him the ball.  --Phil Jackson

Basketball is the MTV of sports.  --Sara Levinson

The rule was "No autopsy, no foul."  --Stewart Granger, on the pickup games of his childhood

To win, you've got to put the ball in the macramé.  --Terry McGuire

I look at the NBA as a football game without the helmet.  --Tom Tolbert

I liked the choreography, but I didn't care for the costumes.  --Tommy Tune, on why he never considered playing basketball

We have a great bunch of outside shooters.  Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors.  --Weldon Drew

What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?  --Woody Allen, Annie Hall